Are you tired of hearing things like this:

“Positive thinking is like a seed in your mind. With nurturing care it can grow into a beautiful garden”?

Yuck!

My husband laughs at the fact that I hate metaphors. I hate how “pretty” and out of touch they sound. So it’s no surprise that I used to be skeptical about “positive thinking”. There’s so many terrible things that happen. Aren’t positive thoughts cliché and naïve? However! Here’s the science that changed my mind: In a study of 5,000 people over a 5 year life span, they found that those who reported higher levels of positive thinking, despite exposure to real stress in their daily life, experienced better health outcomes (Lyobovynsky, King & Diener, 2005). Positive thinking also reduces the need in people to engage in unhealthy behaviors (Segerstrom & Miller, 2004). Did you know that our thoughts affect 80 percent of our day and those in turn drive our actions. When you wake up in the morning and spend your coffee time entertaining doubts, chances are you’ll navigate the rest of your day in that loop. Those potential moments that you could have taken to appreciate real ideas – or initiate on a small step to make things easier – can slip by. “Survival mode” is a totally non-scientific term used to describe feeling like you’re on autopilot. Our bodies are caught up in flight-or-fight mode. However, when we can’t run away from our stress – and when we get tired of passive aggressively writing, “per my last email” – we get stuck in a “freeze state”. For us women this can look like spacing out at work, personalizing the things people say to you, going through the motions, or even trying to be “perfect” for everyone. When you get used to being in “survival mode” it gets easier to believe certain things about yourself – you’re not good enough, aren’t doing enough, or that you don’t deserve the things that you want.

As someone who wants the best for themselves, and the people around them, you must build mental awareness to combat all of the responsibilities, stressors and influences you face in a given day.

Take a deep breath and try these positive practices:

Gratitude

You are alive today. That’s huge! It’s a powerful sentiment that’s easy to take for granted. If you’re still breathing then today is an opportunity to be better, or do something different. Remind yourself of this and every other thing going right for you today.

Mindfulness

Most of the time, at this very moment, things are okay. There is always something else to appreciate about the moment. The sun is shining, the rain may feel warm on your skin, or the air will touch our senses in a given way. Take a deep breath and replace your thoughts with the feel of “the moment” for just a few minutes.

Authentic Connection

Being healthy and in the present with someone you love, or care for, is a gift. For starters, life is precious. It also takes a lot of work to create connections. Why not take a break and appreciate the moments we have with people? On the other hand, our time is precious as well. Perhaps there are certain conversations, boundaries or truths we can put out there in order to make some of our relationships more fulfilling.

Pivot to Your Morals, Values, Cultures or Beliefs

The more you tie your actions and thoughts back to the things that matter to you, the closer you are to building meaningful moments for yourself. From the way I dance, to the way I operate my business, it is all about being an Afro Caribbean mother who feels at peace in nature and grounded in community – (and who also enjoys a great videogame on the weeknights). Plus, sometimes you just have to throw things that are outside of your window of control to a higher power/force – whatever you call Them.

Make Space for Yourself

Making time for yourself, to do for you (by you) isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. Think of it as preventative maintenance for the mind, body, and soul. What does space look like to you? Self-care, a small moment away to really feel your feelings,or perhaps one hour with a counselor to reflect on these things.

So be a beautiful garden, or whatever. Go for it! Positive mindset is not everything, but it makes it easier to remain steady and stay focused on the moment. You deserve to open yourself to mindfulness, connection, and authentic moments. Why not embrace a “happy thought”?