Start accepting yourself, living your values, and being joyful in the present moment.
Contact Me Schedule a Free 15 Minutes ConsultationTherapy for Young Women of Color
“Refining our Black Girl Magic”
Therapy for Women
Finding your Inner Queen.
Therapy for Men
“Aligning with Your Inner King”
Therapy for Generational Trauma
“Breaking the Cycle”
“Refining our Black Girl Magic”
Therapy for Young Women of Color
Cisgender, Transgender, Queer, and those who identify as Women
Society is changing all around us, and sometimes we don’t have the words to really guide our young women through the problems they are facing.
You may be witnessing your daughter go through any of the following:
- Staying in their room for too long
- Struggling to come to terms with who they really are
- Visibly preoccupied with relationships that are unhealthy
- Crying alone
- Dealing with drastic changes in their mood
- Becoming a follower to her peers
- Taking on the problems of the world at such a young age
- Not getting the same grades that they used to
- Losing motivation in school, or for the things that made them happy
- Worrying too much
- Having trouble dealing with loss
- Harming herself or engaging in risky behaviors
- Thinking or talking about death
- Not smiling the same way they used to
- Scared of everything, especially after the pandemic and social distancing
- Always angry or aggressive with the people around them
- Insistent on talking about things that make you feel uncomfortable (E.g., sex, gender, race, world events)
As a mother or guardian you cannot be everything to your children.
You need back up. I know this because I’m also a mother.
A counselor that has a specialty in understanding healthy developmental milestones can help with the following:
Safe Place
A safe place to discuss their thoughts and experiences.
Healthy Ways
Adopt healthy ways of coping with normal stress
Outlets for Conversation
Outlets for conversation around race, sexuality and healthy relationships.
Self-identity
Help with building an authentic self-identity.
Perspectives
Perspectives on potential goals for the future.
Lifestyle
Discussions on how to make positive changes in your lifestyle.
Future Goals
Opportunities to discuss future goals for herself
Mindfulness
An appreciation for mindfulness.
“All girls rock. Black girls… we just on another level.”
~ Rihanna
“Finding your Inner Queen”
Therapy for Women
Cisgender, Transgender, Queer and those who identify as Women
As women we are expected to do it ALL sometimes – sustain friendships, get good feedback at school/work, gain acceptance from our communities as a woman, and maintain questionable standards of beauty. It is easy to lose your power. You deserve to be heard!
Some women struggle with the following:
- Difficulties finding their own interests and identity due to societal, family, or others’ expectations
- Not feeling “good enough”
- “People pleasing”
- Trying to be perfect all the damn time
- Creating high demands on yourself daily. (Over packing your schedule).
- Not feeling “good enough”
- Unexplained feelings of shame or guilt
- Not having the words to articulate the losses or traumas that have lived through
- Having to comply with religious, cultural or career practices that magnify our ideas of feeling “lesser than”
- Feeling stuck
- Like there is a limit to how successful you can be
- Isolating from others, especially other women
- Navigating your life around constant looming threats of violence or being assaulted
- Only focusing on seeking the validation of others, and not your own
- Being made to feel like you can’t express yourself or that your feelings don’t matter
- Constantly judging yourself and other people
- Troubles saying “No” to, or creating a healthy distance from, family or friends
- Staying in relationships where we are made to feel “less than”
- Feeling like you always have to prove your Womanhood
As a woman I can acknowledge that life is more of a challenge for us.
This may not be talked about everywhere you go, but you feel it.
Although I recognize my privilege in being born cis-female, I understand what it feels like to be invalidated by others, to feel like you have to fit certain molds as a woman, and to have to hide parts of yourself for others’ comfort levels. It took a long time for me to realize that my anxieties, preoccupations with relationships, feelings of shame, and self-doubt do not have to limit me anymore. I learned that I deserved to live authentically, to create boundaries from people who don’t make me feel safe, and get to know myself as the woman who has survived everything that has happened to me.
Your happiness is important – if not for you, then for those who look to you for support and guidance. Let’s talk about how to do the following:
Strengths
Realize your strengths and healthy ways to explore your identity
societal Influences
Understand cultural and societal influences on your stress
Microaggressions
Openly process moments of “microaggressions” and potential trauma that you have faced directly or vicariously as a woman.
Communication
Practice healthy ways to communicate your needs to others
Boundaries
Setting limits and boundaries around your time and schedule.
Supports
Identify positive and negative supports.
Self-care
Mutually create a lifestyle that will allow you to balance your self-care and duties
“It’s OKAY to SIT with our feelings, wallow in our grief, cry, yell, and express loads of self-pity. It’s OKAY to give yourself time and permission to FEEL.”
~ Dr. Barbara Shabazz
“Aligning with Your Inner King”
Therapy for Men
Cisgender, transgender, queer and those who identify as Men
Society has spent many years expecting you to “man up” or hide your feelings. They taught you to never cry, to keep your feelings “in check” and to “act like a man”. You have also had to grit your teeth through racism and violence on your own.
However this has robbed you from the ability to live genuinely. You may be facing the following:
- Difficulties connecting with partners, children, others
- Feeling like an island or a “lone wolf”
- Moments of sadness and hopelessness
- Pressure to perform for others – your job, your family, society
- Anger. So much anger you can’t take it
- Falling into relationships that feel manipulative or insincere
- Fixation on video games, drugs, sex or gambling
- Having to meet unreal expectations and stereotypes
- Trouble getting past losses or terrible things you have been through
- Lacking motivation to do the things you want or have to do
- Inner tension or conflict
- Feeling like you shouldn’t be, or aren’t worthy of being, alive
- Troubles keeping a clear mind or controlling your emotions
A man who has committed himself to maintaining inner strength can be a force of nature in his home, career and communities.
Start real conversations
In order to reach high levels of success it is important for all men to start real conversations about their own experiences. Counseling can help with the following:
Unique Experiences
Finally putting words to your unique experiences and emotions.
Space
A space where you don’t have to hold anything back
Masculinity
The opportunity to define your own masculinity.
Connect
Learn new ways to connect and communicate with your loved ones.
Goals
Clarity to make goals and decisions based on your truth.
Mental Tools
The chance to embrace mental tools that will keep you centered and mindful throughout your days.
When they tell you this “runs in the family”, you tell them, “This is where it runs the F*#K out!
“Breaking the Cycle”
Therapy for Generational Trauma
There is much beauty in the blood that runs through your veins – rich ancestry and heritage unlike anything anyone can understand without having lived in your shoes. Whether your family (like mine) made the brave trip to the United States, or you descended from African American or Indigenous family members that have struggled to adapt to a country that was not made for them, the privilege of residing in this country has always come with the emotional consequences passed down from the generations before you.
If you feel any of the following, you’re in the right place:
- If you feel like a character from Disney’s “Encanto” – Luisa (The Strong One), Bruno (The Black Sheep), Isabela (The Golden Child) or Maribel (The Isolated One)
- An anger that you can’t pinpoint.
- You have a very unkind inner voice in your head that sounds a lot like your parent/grandparent or someone from your past.
- Like you are not worthy of the things you want.
- Sometimes it’s easy to self-sabotage opportunities or relationships.
- Having to always hide your accent, or parts of who you are, to feel safe in certain spaces.
- Troubles with self-esteem or identity.
- Heavy discomfort with expressing yourself to your loved ones.
- Always being hypervigilant around people and places.
- A guilty conscience when you take care of yourself.
- Difficulties trusting institutions, like law enforcement or mental health.
- Immediately resorting to spanking or hard punishments on your children.
- Feeling too ashamed to speak up for yourself.
- Flashbacks or always reliving moments of your childhood.
- Shamed for creating healthy distances from family or friends.
- Believing that you have to be perfect all the damn time.
- Struggling to break out of old family roles, traditions and expectations.
- Difficulties trusting people.
- Feeling like you always attract people that don’t make you feel the way you deserve.
- Overwhelmed because the way your parents treated you is not how you want to treat your own children.
- Never really feeling like you truly fit in anywhere.
In a society that wasn’t created for you it is up to you to retake your emotions and create a new legacy for you and your future generation.
As a Dominican-American second generation immigrant, I decided that the constant anxiety that I felt within my family system (The pressure to be perfect and “act accordingly”) was not going to be my children’s responsibility.
Let’s talk about how to let go:
Of internalized misogyny…
Of inherent shame
Of the “Father or Mother Wound”
Of old school expectations and outdated values
Of abuse
Of the strings that tie us to manipulative or hurtful relationships
Of that mean Inner Critic in your head
Of unhealthy attachment
Of the memories and ideas that limit you from living authentically.
You may feel scared at first, like you’re going to lose that cultural part of yourself, or that there is something wrong with you. However, you do not deserve to be limited by your past. There are ways to incorporate your past with your future. Let’s have that conversation today.
“If you don’t like the hand that Fate’s dealt you with, fight for a new one!”
~ Naruto Uzumaki
